A nose, an air hose, old pros, and a few no-nos.
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About to announce the winners, from the new stage above the patio.
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The trophies overlooking our new patio, overlooking the lake.
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The Winners’ Toast, a new tradition where all the past champions welcome the new champions, with champagne.
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Here’s the new Winners’ Lounge, a weird shed/cave converted into a posh playground for champions. Notice the velvet rope.
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My “Guacquarium.” Those are real, live fish swimming around on the front and sides.
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Living fish on the outside… Dead fish on the inside. (Goldfish and dried anchovies, respectively.)
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It smelled and tasted like a real aquarium. And therefore won The Icarus Award.
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Kara’s “Sarah McGuaclin,” which played slo-mo video of sad animals eating guac to the tune of “I Will Remember You.”
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The plight of the guac-fed pets finally gets some attention at Guac Bowl.
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She even made stickers to spread the word.
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Angela’s “Box of Guaclets”, a romantic dessert guac in a home-made box.
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The pieces were made of avocado fudge, with candied tomatoes, onions and cilantro.
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“Happy Valentine’s Day… Enjoy some surprisingly not-terrible guac candies!”
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The Desowitz Family’s “Guaclate,” a very very chocolately guac.
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New location means a new ballot box (i.e., I couldn’t find the old one).
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It was inspired by a classic Double Dare physical challenge…
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Okay! Here’s the grossest thing you’ll ever see. Blake Vy and Russ’s “Michelle Guacman”… early in the day.
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The inside of the Winners’ Lounge. We had our own chilled beer, a full bar, the finest chocolates, and our own TV.
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Here’s Vy getting her guac from the giant nostril. You had to really dig up there! Just like on Double Dare.
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Rob W and Emily B’s “Smokey The Guac,” with liquid smoke inside. Everyone kept saying they should light it on fire.
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Their “Guacpocalypse,” a four-guac retelling of the end of the word.
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It included “Conquest Guac” (sour cream), “Death Guac”…
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…“War Guac” (salsa) and “Famine Guac” (a tiny drop of guac). So many ideas in one entry!
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Carly, Evan and Nikki in their guac outfits. Notice the halos on the ladies — with chips inside!
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Kenny and Stephanie’s “Attack The Guac,” based on the fantastic British film.
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Like the movie itself, delightful but overlooked.
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Jim’s “Guac Balls,” bacon-wrapped, beer-battered balls of awesome.
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Christine’s “Guac Corn,” winner of Best Alternative Guac. Her fifth trophy!
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It had all the classic ingredients of guac… in powdered form, dusted onto the kernels.
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Julie L’s “Boycott Bowl,” protesting 49ers not getting to the Superbowl. Who’s got it better than us? Nooobody! (Except the Giants.)
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…An hour later…
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Steve’s “Guaco Pizza,” two delicious spheres of goo.
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One was meaty…
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And one was not.
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Rob laughing at his ridiculous contraption. He made it himself with an air-compressor and some fancy circuitry.
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Tim’s “Let Them Eat Guac,” an avocado cake.
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Julie H’s “30 Guac” which somehow was supposed to represent 30 Rock. Not exactly sure how. But it was probably very clever.
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This is either Melissa B’s or Tom O’s traditional guac. Sorry! I dropped the ball on my photo documenting here.
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I wouldn’t buy it in a restaurant, but I wouldn’t kick it out of bed either.
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Sean’s Loxamole, with lox in the guac. Served with bagel chips, of course. Clearly conceived of by a goy.
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And this is what they looked like a few minutes later.
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Simon: a giant man with a tiny beer. This is my favorite new picture.
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Kara with her entry, the most depressing one in Guac Bowl history.
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Brandon with his entry “Guack,” winner of Best Presentation.
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Contestants aim at their chip, while Rob nervously watches.
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Rob with his “Guacet Launcher,” which shot guac onto a tortilla chip, when placed on the target in the background.
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Dave, Lauren, Jasper & Margo accept their Best Traditional trophy. (Full disclosure: the kids had no idea what was happening.)
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Dave and Lauren’s Chi-guac-tle, winner of Best Traditional Guac. Great taste, awkward name. Awkward photo to match.
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Christine and Rob B accept their Best Alternative trophy. I assume his “number 1” means he’s won once, and she five times.
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Brandon accepting his Best Presentation trophy…
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…And running off with it before anyone takes it away.
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I humbly accept by Icarus Award, proud to be in the same category as the Guacet Launcher and Michelle Guacman.
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Maggie and Ian enjoying the Winners’ Lounge.
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Dave and his plus-one, Margo, who briefly turned the Winners’ Lounge into a nursery.
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A non-champion hoping to get a peek inside the Winner’s Lounge. Nice try, commoner. This room is for one-percenters only.
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Some champagne might have been drunk out of the trophies. They should make flavored silver polish.
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Partiers enjoying the game inside the house. (Notice the lake in the window. Why aren’t they watching THAT?)
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A late entry that arrived during the presentation ceremony — guac sushi rolls!
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And finally, it turned into this. Black as Michelle Bachman’s soul itself. (This is a non-political site, but I’m just saying.)
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…About three hours in…
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Night fell, and the Guacet Launcher was aimed at its creator, Rob.
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Caitie about to take a blast from the Guacet Launcher.
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One final blast. Goodnight, Guac Bowl!
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Mmm… tastes like silver tarnish and polishing cream.