Guac Bowl ’20 Well, we did it. 20 years. If this was a marriage, we’d have to gift each other a China set… or new trophies made of China? “There Will Be Guac,” inspired by Daniel Day Lewis yelling about milkshakes. Winner of Best Alternative. Jordan and Amanda finally struck oil with this one. Angela’s “Guaky” Pocky sticks. Second place for Alternative Guac and Presentation! Angela and Alvy posing with their entry. (He barely helped, honestly.) Maggie & Ian’s “Guacstachio”, tied for 3rd place for Alternative. Maggie posing with her pistachio-filled entry. It was… nuts. Dave & Lauren’s “Spoons Out,” tied for 3rd place Alternative. Like “Knives Out,” it was a brilliant deconstruction of familiar elements. Dave & Lauren hoping for votes, just like Rian Johnson during Awards season. My “Schoolhouse Guac,” winner of Best Presentation. The cardboard “TV” played all the classic educational cartoons… until my iPad ran out of battery. The guac was inside the schoolhouse, of course. A screenshot of Waynee’s entry, a guacumentary that was posted on Instagram TV over the course of the week. The actual guac part was less impressive than the film, which may have cost him votes. But he got mine! The man flew to Hawaii — anything for the shot. Maurissa’s “Guac Pops,” winner of the Icarus Award. They look great here — but not so much an hour later. Maurissa smiling because she doesn’t know she’s getting Icarus yet. Audrey’s “Don’t PIT All Your Eggs In One Basket,” runner up for Icarus. They were pretty! And in a basket, as described. Audrey with her creation. Jaikar’s “Brain on Guac,” a drug-addled entry, 3rd place for Icarus. Jaikar inspired a lot of important conversations for parents on this day. “Mommy, can I eat those mushrooms?” Zimmer’s “Chicavocado Guac,” a riff on the hot dogs of his new hometown, Chicago. Winner of Best Traditional! Here is the man himself, putting the fixin’s on, just like a street vendor. Meghann’s “Basic B*tch Guac,” second place for Traditional. Did not contain pumpkin spice latte or actual Uggs boots. John & Sara’s “Dwayne ‘The Guac’ Johnson,” a cleverly titled Traditional that tied for 3rd place. John and his kid posing like The Rock himself, only even more charming and buff. Travis’s “The Guac Place,” tied for third place Traditional. If it’s anything like The Good Place, it will change premises every year. Holy forking shirtballs, it’s A Good Place reference! Josh & Alison’s “Overpromising & Underdelivering,” not just a guac but a way of life. Tied for 3rd place Traditional. Evan and Erika’s “Slider Guac!!” They were sliders. With guac. And pineapple. I appreciate the dedication, matching their Hawaiian sweet rolls with Hawaiian outfits. Tim & Henry’s “Guac v. Ferrari,” Henry’s blatant excuse to get a new Lego race car. According to Tim, a professional comedy writer, Henry came up with the “pit stop” pun himself. David and Edie’s “Im-Peach-Mint” guac, a pretty great double pun, incorporating both peaches and mint. But like our Senate, the judges didn’t vote for it. Here are the Ichioka’s laughing at the demise of our once great democracy. Mark and 3-year-old Phoebe’s entry. Guess which one of them drew the picture and named it. Mark is good with a crayon and is just learning how to make words. Rachel & JT’s “Guac w/ a Field Goal,” something I wish the Niners had more of today. Robin was back with her Guackies brownies for the fourth or fifth time (I lost count)… But I appreciate the dedication to one idea! Rhonie’s “Guapical Paradise.” The kid won last year, but she was unable to defend her crown with this one. Some past winners hanging out in the new Winner’s Lounge location, where we keep the good alcohol and snacks. Long lost cousin Dave Pava and Lynn showed up! Love these guys. And now for some random pics of people enjoying themselves. And cute kids. Oh yeah, there was also a football game. I’m trying to forget what happened there. What we really come for: the trophies. Zimmer accepting his win. Jordan and Amanda, finally getting their hands on a real trophy. Maurissa accepting the tiny Icarus cup. In the Winner’s Lounge, the traditional champagne toast… …and drinking from the trophies. Yummm, silver polish. The cutest kid of them all, in a snazzy new Guac Bowl shirt, available in the “STORE” tab above. Thanks for coming, or just looking! See you next year!