First of all, THE PICTURES ARE UP! Check them out by clicking here.
Now, without further ado, here is the rundown of winners:
BEST TASTING TRADITIONAL GUAC:
3rd Place: “3 Pepper Guac” by Audrey Diehl.
I heard a number of people say “Huh, I didn’t expect it to be so spicy…” IT WAS CALLED THREE PEPPER GUAC, PEOPLE! Thrice the peppers, thrice the spice.
2nd Place: “Look Who’s Guac-ing Now” by Britany Biggs and Jeff Chasin.
First time entrants – great job! This traditional guac had a taste of cumin, and a presentation of cum.
1st place: An unnamed traditional guac, by Alie Lee and 4-year-old Leithen Lee.
Just goes to show, a winning guac doesn’t need a great name or gimmick… In this category, simple and tasty often takes it. Conguaculations, Lees!
BEST TASTING ALTERNATIVE GUAC:
3rd Place: “Roadkill Guac,” by Adam Pava.
It had real gator and snake meat mixed in; This guac was inspired by my dad who gave me an awesome raccoon-shaped platter to make this.
2nd Place: “Guac Aioli,” by Kara Ulseth.
A fancy entry… and it came with its own Daily Candy write-up to prove it!
1st Place: “7% GBV,” a guac-infused beer brewed by Blake Lemons.
The name stands for 7% Guac By Volume… and it was seriously good, not just for a guac-beer, but for beer in general.
BEST PRESENTATION OF GUAC:
3rd Place: (tie): “Guaquin Phoenix” by Odessa Begay and Jordan Breindel.
Guaquin was drawn on plastic wrap, and the caption said “I quit Guac Bowl to become this wrapper.” Awesome picture and pun from first time entrants! I look forward to years of great entries from these two.
3rd place (tie): “Guac Swan” by Julie Lofrano and Gina Grad.
Like the Black Swan ballet itself, it was split into good and evil parts: a traditional guac, and an evil, black guac with black olives and black beans. Amazing idea and execution. But once again, Julie splits her votes by having both traditional and alternative in the same presentation, confusing voters who can only vote for one or the other… When will she learn to embrace the system??
2nd place: “Guacers Presents: Sweet & Spicy Guac Shots” by Christine Landry, Maggie Flynn, Nikki Giles, and Heather Murphy.
These lovely ladies dressed in matching skimpy Hooters girls outfits, and handed out tequila-guac shots. It was a valiant effort to win the boys’ votes with overt sex appeal… but Guac Bowl may be the only place where a bad movie pun can beat out the allure of hoochies and booze.
1st place: “Howard The Guac,” by Adam Pava.
Once again I take the crown with an outdated pop-culture reference! I don’t know if I should be proud or embarrassed that I was the only person who obsessed for weeks on my presentation, gluing feathers, molding clay for the beak, scouring thrift stores for just the right duck outfit, etc…
THE ICARUS AWARD:
3rd place: “Meat the Guacers” by Brandon Oropallo.
This all-meat concoction included salami, chicken, beef, steak, hot dog, salmon, turkey, ham, bacon and sausage. Even the chips were pepperoni slices baked to a crisp. Voters admired the creativity and bravery to attempt this recipe, and double pun title, but the taste… less so.
2nd place: “Guacers Presents: Sweet & Spicy Guac Shots” by Christine Landry, Maggie Flynn, Nikki Giles and Heather Murphy.
Nobody can doubt the amount of effort that went into this entry: the matching outfits, the shaved legs, the gallons of tequila and avocados and spices that went into the shots… it had all the makings of a classic Icarus rise and fall. But there was one entry that outshone the Guacers in its sheer audacity and unpleasantness… and that entry is:
1st place: “Jellomole” by Angela Park.
The Jellomole took guacamole into a new category of foodstuffs heretofore unseen in competition: gelatin molds. The genius (and ultimately, hilarious failure) of this guac was, Angela didn’t just settle for making green jello and putting some avocados floating inside. No, she made real, full-on guacamole with enough gelatin to turn it into a wiggily, jiggily affront to God. With 30 votes, it was the runaway winner/loser for the Icarus Award.
SOME OTHER HIGHLIGHTS:
- Yesterday’s Guac Bowl marked an interesting trend – while the number of entries was about the same as last year, the guacs were noticeably smaller. (And the numbers confirm it: 126 avocados were pulverized this year, down from 209.5.) Notably, it was the first time in years that all the guacs fit into the dining room, without having to utilize the spillover tables in the living room and entry hall. Whatever the reason, I think this is a good thing – the guacs had been getting out of hand, to the point that some partygoers were too intimidated to enter the contest. There was simply no way to top them. Now the playing field has evened out. Let this year be a testament that great ideas don’t need to use 50 avocados and take up an entire corner of the room.
- Maybe the most compelling story of the day is that Blake’s guac-beer won for Best Alternative Tasting, when just two years ago Michael Zimmer’s attempt at guac-beer (“Gueer”) won the Icarus Award. It just goes to show an idea can be done correctly (brewing beer over the course of months, slowly fermenting it with the guac ingredients) or incorrectly (whatever the crap Zimmer did). The only event in Guachistory that comes close to this feet is in 2007 when Guac Ice Cream won for Best Alternative, and the similar-but-terrible Guacsicles was “awarded” the Icarus.
- Some other great entries worthy of mentioning: Lara Grant’s “Guac-a-Mole” was a real interactive game; Matt Oconnell and Maurissa Horwitz’s “Anatomy of a Chiguacgo Style Hot Dog” included mini-dogs for smothering with relish-guac; Julie Halton’s “Lady Guac Guac” had a meat dress; Jim Sutherland’s Twin Peaks-inspired donuts with guac glaze; Kenny Byerly’s “Guacception” was a inventive brain-twister for your taste buds, Brett Lim brought his annual St. Patrick’s party to Guac Bowl with a corned-beef guacamole served in a cabbage head; and Tim McKeon decided to make a bold statement by giving his alternative “RIP” guac the special ingredient of… poison.
- Craig Anderson took the Alternative Guac category to meta levels with his entry, “The Alternative” which was… hot wings. With no guac element. It practically dared the Guac Bowl Rules And Ethics Committee to disqualify it from competition… but the entry was not disqualified for three reasons: it was funny, the wings were enjoyed by all, and there is no Guac Bowl Rules and Ethics Committee.
- There’s always at least one great entry that arrives late, after voting has ended and trophies have been awarded. This year, that honor went to Dave Hanson and Hillary Burgess who brought an awesome “Iron Curtain” guac, with the foil-curtain separating a traditional Green Bay Packers guac from a Steelers themed seven layer dip. Dave said all he cared about was getting a special mention in the write-up. Here you go, Dave. Congratulations, you did it!
Thanks, everyone, for another amazing year!