I’ve had a few conversations in the past week that went like this: “Hey, Adam! I’m excited for Guac Bowl!” “Me too, unnamed friend. How’s your entry coming?” “Oh, I’m too busy to make something this year, so I think I’m just going to show up and eat guac.”
Now, of course you’re welcome to do that. You’re my friend, and I look forward to seeing you no matter what. BUT – too busy? This is immortality we’re talking about. All you need is a shitty pun and a little creativity, and everyone will love you forever.
And so, to help out anyone who’s on the fence about bringing a guac, I hereby present to you:
ADAM’S SUPER-EASY, KIND OF TERRIBLE, LAST MINUTE GUAC IDEAS THAT YOU’RE TOTALLY FREE TO STEAL.
1. “Davey Guacett.” Simply fill a coon-skin cap with guac.
2. “Birkenguacs.” Simply fill some old Birkenstock sandals with guac.
3. “Guaccasins.” Simply fill some moccasins with guac.
4. “Toad the Wet Guacket.” Simply reunite the ’90s folk rock group whose heartfelt lyrics touched us all, and have them play Guac Bowl with the word “guac” clumsily inserted into their greatest hits: “Guac On The Ocean,” “I Will Not Take These Things for Guacted,” “Something’s Always Guac,” “All I Want (Is To Eat This Guac),” and so on.
I really hope someone shows up with one of these. Especially number 4, but I hear Glen Phillips is pretty focused on his solo career these days…